


how can i miss you if you won't go away

by likeanchors



Category: One Direction (Band), Radio 1 RPF
Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Parenthood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-08
Updated: 2012-12-08
Packaged: 2018-01-26 03:25:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1672907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/likeanchors/pseuds/likeanchors
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis’ may have separation anxiety when it comes to leaving Nick and their son, Charlie, in London when he goes up to Doncaster to take care of sick mum. And it just might be driving Nick up the wall.</p>
            </blockquote>





	how can i miss you if you won't go away

**

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” Louis asked for the fifth time in as many minutes, pressing his hand to Charlie’s forehead and frowning. “Maybe he’s coming down with something.”

 

Snorting, Nick scooped Charlie into his arms and pressed a brief kiss to Louis’s cheek. “Go take care of your mum, me and Charlie are going to be fine.”

 

Louis made a face and reached out to take Charlie. He made a strangled sound in the back of his throat when Nick turned away and held Charlie against his chest so Louis couldn’t get at him. “Nick, please?” Louis whined. “Just one more cuddle and I’ll go.”

 

Nick glanced over his shoulder and rolled his eyes before pressing Charlie into Louis’s arms. “You’ve got a minute, Tomlinson.”

 

Nick watched with overwhelming fondness as Louis peppered Charlie’s face with kisses and mumbled absolute nonsense about behaving himself and taking care of daddy. Nick scoffed and leant over, pressing a big sloppy kiss to Louis’s cheek before pulling Charlie into his arms. “It’s just a couple of days, darling,” Nick crooned. “Your mum needs you and we’ll be fine.”

 

Louis looked like he wanted to argue for a moment but he swallowed it down and gave Nick a lingering kiss. “I’ll call you later,” he said to Nick before pressing his lips to the back of Charlie’s head.

 

“Go,” Nick said gently, pushing Louis towards the door. Nick watched Louis slowly back out the door, blowing kisses and shook his head.

 

Lying down on the sofa, Nick sat Charlie on his stomach and gave the little boy a big grin. “Your Papa is an absolute nutter,” Nick said with a sing-song voice, his smile growing painfully wide when Charlie giggled. “But god knows we adore him.”

 

**

 

Nick was just finishing up Charlie’s bath when his phone went the first time. Ignoring it, he focused on blowing raspberries on Charlie’s belly and giving him a bubble beard. Twenty minutes later when Charlie was dried off, in his pyjamas and kicking his feet on the rug Johanna made him when he was born, Nick picked up his phone. There were five missed calls and six text messages – all from Louis.

 

_‘I tried to call but you didn’t answer… i’ll try again in a minute. x’_

 

_‘Nick? why aren’t you picking up?? x’_

 

_‘babe, answer your phone. x’_

 

_‘Nick!’_

 

_‘Nick?!’_

 

_‘ANSWER YOUR FUCKING PHONE NICHOLAS!’_

 

Grinning, Nick laid down on the blanket next to Charlie and showed him the phone. “What’s got papa’s knickers in a twist then?” Nick chuckled. “Let’s give him a call, hey?” The phone barely even rang once before Louis picked up.

 

“Where the fuck have you been?” Louis breathed heavily down the phone.

 

“Charles was having a bath,” Nick said genially. “How’s your mum?”

 

“Oh, um, her fever broke, I think she’ll be okay in a few days if she gets some rest. How’s Charlie?”

 

Nick turned his head and looked at the little boy who was trying to shove his whole foot into his mouth. “He’s content. He hasn’t even noticed you’re not here fussing over him.”

 

“Shut up,” Louis grumbled.

 

Chuckling down the phone, Nick rolled onto his stomach and propped himself up on one elbow. Smiling at Charlie, Nick gently tickled his belly and put the phone on speaker before popping it onto the floor between the two of them. After half an hour of Louis cooing to Charlie and comfortable silences, Nick ended the call with a promise to call in the morning because Charlie was getting fussy and needed a bottle and bed.

 

**

 

Nick was still in bed with Charlie napping next to him when his phone went off the next morning.

 

“You said you’d call,” Louis accused before Nick could say anything.

 

“Good morning to you too,” Nick muttered down the phone. checking the clock on the bedside table, Nick let out a heavy sigh. “it’s not even nine, Lou.”

 

“You promised that you’d call first thing.”

 

“Yeah, and I was going to call you when Charlie woke up,” Nick explained, gently running the back of his fingers down Charlie’s sleeping cheek.

 

“He’s still asleep? He should be awake by now. I knew he was getting sick!” Louis sounded like he was fretting and Nick sat up crossed-legged.

 

“Relax, Lou. He woke up about six, had a bite to eat and babbled in my ear for a couple of hours while playing with that hippo book thing Haz got him before he went back to sleep.”

 

“Oh, okay.”

 

Louis was quiet for a moment before Nick heard a scream and the bellowing of arguing teenagers in the background. “You’d better go sort out World War Five,” Nick said with a grin he was thankful Louis couldn’t see.

 

**

 

Nick was barely able to bite back the sigh when Louis called a few hours later – for the fourth time that day! He and Charlie were feeding ducks at the pond by their house. Well Nick was tearing chunks off of the loaf of bread and lobbing it into the water and Charlie was sitting in his push chair making grabby hands at the bread.

 

“Yes?” Nick asked feeling exasperation set in.

 

“How’s Charlie?”

 

“Fine.”

 

“Good. I’m still worried he might be coming down with something.”

 

Nick ‘mmhmm’d’ into the phone and slumped back against the park bench while Louis started on about how Charlie was a bit warm yesterday and that he thought the thermostat in the bedroom was off. Picking at the bread, Nick didn’t even attempt to get it into the water this time, settling for rubbing it between his fingers until he made a small pyramid of breadcumbs underneath the bench. There was a stilted silence and Nick was thankful for Charlie’s well timed squeal for attention.

 

“Gotta get the little monster back inside, talk later, Lou,” Nick said, disconnecting the call before Louis could convince him otherwise. Pushing himself up, Nick gently tweaked Charlie’s nose before pressing a quick kiss to the chubby cheek. “It’d be nice if he asked how I was. Just once,” Nick explained to Charlie who cooed in reply. “Yeah, yeah, I know,” Nick said back. “C’mon, let’s go. I think there’s some Thomas the tank engine and watered down apple juice with our name on it.”

 

**

 

By the next morning Nick had suffered through another six calls from Louis checking in on Charlie. After the first one at six am, Nick had bit out a, “No offense, darling, but kindly fuck off,” before hanging up and turning his phone off. He didn’t get the lie-in he was hoping for though. Not ten minutes later Nick had been drifting off when Charlie had screamed for attention and they ended up on the sofa listening to Miles Davis records sharing a bowl of weetabix.

 

The two of them spent most of the day eating and napping until someone started hammering on the door just after three in the afternoon. Opening the door with Charlie on his hip, Nick let in a harassed looking Harry, his phone stuck to his ear.

 

“No, Lou, the house is fine,” Harry groaned into the phone. “No, they’re fine.” Harry rolled his eyes and mouthed a quick ‘I’m sorry,’ to Nick before sighing into the phone. “Charlie’s eating his hand as I speak and Nick looks like I woke him up from a nap.”

 

Passing Charlie to Harry, Nick took the phone and listened to Louis explain that he was sure something had happened because Nick never turns his phone off and how he was really grateful that Harry had gone over there.

 

“All right there, Lou?” Nick asked.

 

“Do you have any idea how worried I’ve been?” Louis screeched so loud Nick had to pull the phone away from his ear. “Your phone’s been going straight to voicemail all day.”

 

“You don’t need to call all the time, Lou,” Nick grumbled. “Fifteen calls in less than thirty-six hours. It’s getting to be a bit much, darling.”

 

“Right, well,” Louis trailed off and Nick automatically felt guilt settle somewhere below his bellybutton. “Daisy, don’t you dare hit Phoebe.”

 

“Lou,” Nick hedged.

 

“No I get it, I’ll see you Monday.”

 

“Lou-” the dial-tone cut Nick off and he growled at the phone screen.

 

Taking a moment to compose himself, Nick went into the sitting room and found Harry lying in the middle of the floor, Charlie held in the air in front of him. Nick watched Harry steer Charlie’s prone body through the air before cuddling him tight to his chest and pressing kisses to his face.

 

“So what was that about, then?” Harry asked when he noticed Nick.

 

Nick groaned and collapsed cross-legged on the floor next to them and gently ruffled the tuft of hair on Charlie’s head. “Lou’s been calling non-stop since he went up to his mum’s and it was driving me up the wall,” Nick mumbled.

 

“So you turned your phone off?”

 

“He called me at six this morning, Haz.” Nick pushed his fingers through his hair and watched Harry make faces at Charlie for a few moments. There was no point in mentioning that it wasn’t the constant phone calls that was annoying him but the simple fact that Louis spent the whole time asking about or talking to Charlie. Nick felt terrible about being jealous of a eleven-month old child, but he wanted some attention from his boyfriend, even if it was a simple ‘d’you miss me yet?’.

 

Harry stayed for dinner and a bit of X-Factor; Charlie sprawled like a starfish, fast asleep, across his lap. After he left, Nick tucked Charlie into his cot before crawling into his own bed with his phone. After five minutes of staring at the screen, Nick pressed call and chewed on his bottom lip. It went to voicemail so Nick left a quick apology before hanging up and curling up on his side of the bed. Even though he hadn’t expected Louis to answer it still stung since he knew that Louis was connected to his phone and had likely chosen not to answer.

 

**

 

The next morning Nick tried to call Louis four times before he resorted to calling Johanna’s landline. Fizzy answered and made some odd excuse about Louis being busy before hanging up with an, ‘I’m sorry, Nick. You know Lou,’. Annoyed and frustrated, Nick decided to take Charlie to the zoo and left his phone at home.

 

After a few hours and after spending a ridiculous amount of time watching the monkeys, the temperature dropped so Nick reluctantly headed home. Charlie was fast asleep and without the little boy to distract him, Nick picked up his phone to find a very disappointing text message from Louis.

 

_‘mum’s still not well. back tomorrow.’_

 

No stupid little ‘x’ at the end. Nothing that said he was sorry about the turn of events. No mention of Charlie. Nothing. 

 

Nick was almost glad when Charlie woke up screaming even if it did take Nick a while to settle him.

 

The rest of the afternoon dragged on; Nick tried unsuccessfully to convince Charlie to say ‘daddy’ and read him a few chapters of a book that was probably not suitable for a child as young as Charlie until he fell asleep.

 

By the time he crawled into bed Nick had a thumping headache. Deciding to try one last time, Nick dialled Louis’s number. Nick was surprised when the call connected and by the silence on the at the other end. Nick let out a heavy breath and closed his eyes. “I miss you and your stupid face,” Nick whispered before disconnecting the call.

 

Nick barely slept that night, he tossed and turned and when Charlie started crying for attention Nick woke up thinking he was going to die. His head felt like someone had spent the night kicking it, his sinuses were on fire and his eyes felt like someone had rubbed sand into them. It took him a few minutes to roll out of bed to fetch Charlie.

 

Setting Charlie up with a vast array of toys, books and a biscuit, Nick wrapped himself up in a blanket on the sofa and flinched when Charlie squealed out of what he supposed was happiness. Dragging his phone out from under the sofa cushion just after eight o’clock, Nick texted Harry.

 

_‘You wouldnt be free to watch Charles for a few hours would you? Ive come down wiv something an i could really do with some lemsip an a snooze.’_

 

Half an hour later Nick waved goodbye to Harry and Charlie before climbing back beneath the pile of blankets on the sofa. Forcing down a few ibuprofen, Nick drifted off and dreamt about blue elephants in tutus and talking zebras who sounded a lot like Louis.

 

**

 

“Mmm,” Nick mumbled, slowly waking to something blissfully cold being placed on his forehead. Pushing his eyes open, Nick smiled up at the zebra who was shaking it’s head at him.

 

“It’s not really fair that you went and got sick,” the zebra muttered, squeezing out a washcloth and placing it back on his forehead.

 

Nick could feel himself grinning. reaching up to pet the zebra’s head, Nick made several intelligible cooing sounds. “S’okay Stripes,” Nick said around a yawn, cringing when his throat protested against being used. “I annoy everyone.”

 

the zebra snorted and gently ran his fingers through Nick’s hair. “Go to sleep, Nicholas,” the zebra whispered, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. Closing his eyes Nick decided he was going to name the zebra George.

 

The next time Nick woke up it was to the blurry zebra pressing a glass of something cold to his lips. The cool liquid slid easily down his throat and Nick moaned out his gratitude before George told him to swallow the pills it put on his tongue.

 

“You okay?” George asked.

 

Nick shook his head and burrowed deeper under the blankets. “No,” he said, his voice thick and raspy. “Everything hurts and I miss Lou and cuddles.”

 

George made a soft sound and gently petted Nick’s back until he fell asleep.

 

It was dark when Nick woke up the next time. His head was still heavy and sore and his throat felt scratched up and swollen and his entire body ached but he also felt a lot better. Pushing himself up on to his elbows, Nick blearily peered around the room until he saw Louis sitting in the reclining chair in the corner; Charlie fast asleep on his chest.

 

“Hey,” Nick mumbled, pushing himself up until he was sitting.

 

“Feeling better?”

 

Nick nodded slowly and pushed the blankets off of him so he could free his feet. “Yeah, uh.” Nick coughed and rubbed his throat.

 

“There’s a glass of water behind you,” Louis said.

 

Taking a long pull from the glass, Nick immediately regretted the decision; his swollen throat making it hard to swallow. nursing the glass, Nick watched Louis climb out of the chair and lower Charlie into the portacot in the corner.

 

“Your fever broke about an hour ago,” Louis said, turning back around. He regarded Nick for a moment, head tilted to one side, hands on his hips. “You were out of it for quite a while.”

 

“Yeah, I thought,” Nick paused and shook his head because really, it was ridiculous. “I thought there was a zebra called George taking care of me.”

 

Louis let out a strangled laugh and sat down next to Nick before pressing his hand to Nick’s forehead. “And here I was thinking you were being ironic when you called me Stripes.”

 

“That was you?”

 

Louis smiled kindly before nodding and asking, “Who else did you think would take care of your delirious arse?”

 

“But-” Nick started, stopping when Louis covered his mouth with his hand. Louis said slowly, “I left early this morning. I was somewhere near Luton when Harry called me just after nine to tell me you looked like utter shite and he had Charlie.”

 

Nick took a small swallow of water to distract himself and shuddered when Louis added, “You were so out of it when I got in; mumbling about elephants and tap-dancing rhinos.”

 

Nick could feel his cheeks starting to burn and he ducked his head. “Shut up,” Nick croaked.

 

Louis smiled and lightly knocked his shoulder against Nick’s. “And here I was thinking Charlie was the one who was going to get sick while I was gone.” Louis chuckled.

 

“Sorry for being a prick about you calling,” Nick said in a rush feeling all the more guilty because Louis had been so wonderful about taking care of him.

 

Louis shrugged in reply and looked over at Charlie who was sleeping peacefully.

 

“You missed him,” Nick murmured, reaching out for Louis’s hand.

 

Louis looked back at Nick and frowned. Nick tried not to shift under Louis’s intense gaze and busied himself with popping the glass back on the table.

 

“I missed you too, you plonker,” Louis said sounding beyond amused.

 

Nick dropped his head to hide the smile on his face and leant over to press his face into Louis’s shoulder. “Really?” he asked.

 

“Yes, really,” Louis said fondly. “I’m so used to fighting with your legs for bed space.”

 

“Yeah, well, at least I didn’t have to fight with you for a bit of the blanket.”

 

Louis smirked at that and pressed a soft kiss to Nick’s forehead. Pressing his chin into Louis’s shoulder, Nick watched Louis’s face as he asked, “How are you going to handle going back on tour?”

 

Louis’s face scrunched up and he groaned loudly before pulling away and falling back against the sofa. “Was I really that bad?” Louis asked.

 

“Getting you out of the house was a hassle,” Nick reminded him. “And the calls were okay to begin with.”

 

Nick wasn’t sure if he should point out that he was a bit jealous that Louis had always enquired after Charlie and that he had actually missed Louis a lot more than he had expected to. Which for Nick was odd since he’d put up with Louis going on world tours for months at a time.

 

“I missed you, too,” Louis insisted. Nick wasn’t sure if Louis was having one of those rare moments where he could read Nick like a book and he was picking up on Nick’s insecurities or if he was being literal with a touch of sarcasm. Either way Nick was okay with that. “And I’m sorry I made Fizz lie to you. I was sulking when you called.”

 

Nick meant to tell Louis that it was nothing to worry about and that in the grand scheme of things it was probably one of the least hurtful things they’d put each other through but a cough tore through him, practically lifting his body off of the sofa. Louis sat up, concern etched on his face and one hand anchored on Nick’s arm to keep him from pitching forward. Charlie gave a startled cry and pushed himself up, Nick could see him watching them, his chubby little hands reaching out while he babbled with what sounded like stressed concern.

 

The coughing fit lasted for a few minutes and Nick collapsed back against the pillows gasping for breath and wiping the tears from his eyes. Louis disappeared into the kitchen and came back a few moments later with a large glass of orange juice and an ice lolly. Pressing them both into Nick’s hands before turning back to Charlie. Nick watched Louis as he swung Charlie up into his arms and then curled up under the blankets next to Nick.

 

“I can’t believe I left you alone for three days and you got this sick,” Louis said with a wry smile, carefully pulling Charlie’s hand back when he reached out to grab at the ice lolly.

 

“Hush, Stripes,” Nick grumbled. “I don’t feel well. You’re supposed to dote on me, not tease me.”

 

Louis snorted but otherwise complied. Wrapping the blanket around Nick’s shoulders with a tut of concern. He placed Charlie between them and caught him up on all the goings on up in Doncaster before heating up a can of soup for dinner. 

 

When Nick fell asleep that night with his legs tangled in Louis’s and barely a corner of the duvet he had a hard time not grinning into his pillow. Slipping his cold foot onto the curve of Louis' calf, Nick chuckled into his pillow and wrapped himself and the duvet around Louis. 


End file.
